I’m a Christian by definition but I’m not floating in the air from holiness. Like Biggie, I have a story to tell. My feet are firmly planted on earth but I am deeply connected to the vine affectionately known as Jesus Christ. 

 

My grandmother Bridget planted, sowed and watered the seed of faith into me my entire life. I grew up in a Pentecostal household and went to Catholic school from kindergarten through to high school. This gave me a solid foundation of God in my heart. I went to church with my grandmother every Sunday. They were fanatic C.O.G Pentecostals who would run up and down the aisle when the spirit filled them. I loved the singing and can still remember all the hymns sprinkled with a little Jamaican scotch bonnet pepper sauce.

 

I first gave my heart to Jesus at the age of 17 and had my first experience being slain in the Spirit at a Christian Summer Camp. I was sent there because I had been engaging in pre-marital sex with my boyfriend which was a big no-no in my Christian family. It was for me too but I had allowed flawed thinking to bring me down the wrong road. After answering the call to have a personal relationship with Jesus at such a young age, I had a real fear of backsliding. I was told that it was worse than never having been saved at all. I didn’t want to let God down, so I didn’t fully commit.

 

Once I went away to college, no one was making me go to church – so I didn’t. The way that fear was evoked to keep us in line at church seemed so against the love that Jesus exhibited in the Bible so I chose to fellowship with myself. The Holy Spirit has always resided in me, but there was no longer conviction in my heart. I did what I wanted, not what God wanted.

 

Those years in between are the breadth of my testimony and how I know God is real. There were two clear times during that time that I could’ve died but God saved me. In March 2018, I was on my way to three. I had gotten myself into a situation that only God could get me out of. Then a song from my childhood that my grandfather used to play popped into my head. Charley Pride’s ‘Jesus Don’t Give Up on Me.’ I found the song on Spotify and while listening just cried incessantly for Jesus to take me back. I was sorry for abandoning him even when he hadn’t abandoned me. At that moment, I recommitted myself and restarted my faith journey. I got water baptized in November 2018 two months after moving to New Zealand.

 

Since then, I’ve been slowly killing off my old ways, habits, and scarcity mindset so that I can lead a life that is more reflective of being a disciple of Jesus. I've also embraced the fellowship found at church as an important part of staying on track in this journey. I looked for answers to my existence all my life. Upon baptism, I realized my purpose on Earth is to serve God. Every day I ask Him how He wants me to carry out His Will. Putting this ‘God-lens’ on everything helps me see the things He provides me are for His glory. I have a deeper relationship with Him because I now relate to him out of love, not fear. Giving my heart to Jesus has given me a sweet peace in my heart. I no longer fear death and put my life in God’s capable hands. Allowing the peace of God to reside in me and center me has been the cheat code to my life. 

 

I’m a daughter of God first and foremost but I also am a native New Yorker, a first-gen American woman with Jamaican roots, and a self-proclaimed nerd so all those parts of me will shine through as well. What you read will not be coming from a place of superiority. I want this to be the place where you lay witness to a comeback story that inspires you to have one of your own.